Mom Promised Me the House. Her Will Says Something Else.

Imagine your mom telling you for years that you will get her house when she dies. You help her take care of it, bring her groceries, and take her to appointments. You might even spend your own money on repairs because you believe the house will eventually be yours.

Then she passes away, and you find out her will leaves the house to someone else.

Would the promise she made to you matter? In Iowa, the answer depends on more than whether she said it.

Does a promise override a will?

Generally, a conversation about an inheritance does not replace a valid will. Under Iowa Code section 633.279, a will generally must be in writing, signed, and properly witnessed by two competent people.

If the house is property controlled by the will, the will ordinarily determines who receives it, subject to the estate’s obligations. Saying “I want you to have the house” does not accomplish the same thing as putting that gift into a valid estate plan.

But that does not necessarily end the discussion. There may be a separate question about whether the promise was part of an agreement.

What if you did something in return?

There is a difference between someone saying they want you to inherit property and agreeing to leave you property in exchange for something.

For example, “I want you to have my house” sounds like an intended gift. “If you provide care for me, I will leave you my house” suggests an agreement with obligations on both sides.

That still does not mean the agreement is automatically enforceable. Iowa Code section 622.32 generally requires signed written evidence of contracts involving interests in land. Section 622.33 provides exceptions in certain circumstances, including payment or possession under an agreement. Simply living in the house or paying some expenses does not automatically establish an exception.

The details of what was promised, and what can actually be proven, become important.

An Iowa case involving a similar promise

In Biedenfeld v. Estate of French, a tenant claimed that his landlady agreed to leave him eighty acres of farmland in exchange for caring for her at home. She initially included the land in a will for him but later changed her estate plan.

The Iowa Court of Appeals affirmed the denial of his claims. The court found that he had not established the alleged oral contract with clear, satisfactory, and convincing evidence. It also determined that, even assuming an enforceable agreement existed, he had not fulfilled his obligation and his failure to do so was not excused.

This case shows why these situations can be difficult. Believing you were promised something is only part of the issue. You also have to establish what the agreement required and whether you followed through.

What can families learn from this?

A promise about an inheritance can affect someone’s decisions long before a person dies. They may spend money, provide care, or make plans based on what they expect to receive.

If a disagreement happens, records of the arrangement can give an attorney something concrete to review. Messages, payment records, earlier estate documents, and witnesses may help explain what happened.

It is also important to get advice promptly. Iowa Code section 633.410 sets deadlines for claims against an estate, with qualifications and exceptions. The deadline and procedure depend on the claim involved.

For families planning ahead, the better time to clarify an arrangement is while everyone involved can still explain what they mean. Is the house a gift, or is it supposed to be compensation for care? What happens if the person eventually needs more care than someone can provide?

A conversation may leave everyone feeling like they understand the plan. Putting that understanding into proper legal documents can help prevent them from discovering later that they understood it differently.

Tyler ThompsonAuthor